Coming Home to the Child Within

Perhaps you have a feeling that something inside you wants to be heard. You might not know exactly what is drawing you to this conclusion, only that something feels stuck, heavy, or strangely familiar. Maybe you are aware that certain emotions show up too strongly, or not at all. Maybe parts of you react in ways that do not quite make sense to your adult self. That is often where the journey to the inner child begins.

In my practice, I have come to see that trauma is not only about what happened. It is also about what was missing. Sometimes the obvious was missing, for example, safety, the steady presence of a caregiver and consistency in their mood. We needed this but did not always receive it. When those needs go unmet, the child within us does not simply vanish. They wait. Quietly. Often for years, until we are ready to listen.

Inner child work is not about fixing you or going back just to revisit pain. It is about gently finding the younger parts of you that had to adapt in ways that made sense at the time. The part that learned to stay unseen to feel safe. The part that went quiet to avoid rejection. Or the part that became overly responsible far too early.

You may wonder what this has to do with your life now. And the truth is, everything. These younger parts often sit beneath patterns we carry today. Examples of these patterns are people pleasing, struggling to connect with others, difficulty setting boundaries, or that deep-seated sense of never being enough. These are more than just “limiting beliefs” They are protective responses from a time when you needed to stay safe.

Imagine your nervous system is like an electrical circuit running through your body. In safe environments, the current flows smoothly. All the wires are insulated and safe. But complex trauma – that is, being exposed to multiple distressing events since childhood – can break that insulation around the wires and short-circuit the system, making you either hyperalert or feel completely shut down. You might know these responses as fight or flight responses. Inner child work gently finds those open wires and reinsulates them, creating new pathways, so that you feel more grounded and connected, allowing you to respond rather than react. 

Inner child work is powerful and deeply healing. It is not about analysing everything. It is about feeling what was never felt, offering comfort where there was once confusion, and learning how to become the steady presence your inner child longed for.

You do not have to go deep right away. You can start softly, in simple ways, allowing yourself to become curious and compassionate. 

Here is something you can try on your own

Find a quiet space and take a few deep breaths. Close your eyes and allow an image of your younger self to come forward. Let it be whatever age or version of you arises. You do not have to force it.

Notice what this version of your younger self looks like. Notice their posture. Are they holding anything? Standing alone?

Then gently ask, “What do you need from me today?”

Let the question hang in the air for a while. There may be words, or just a feeling. That is enough.

You might place a hand on your heart and whisper to them, “I am here now. I see you. You do not have to do this all by yourself anymore.”

If something stirs in you when you do this, even the smallest flicker of emotion, that is a doorway. And you can return to it anytime.

Inner child work is not always easy, but it is sacred. It invites you to come home to the parts of you that were never given a chance to be held with care. And in doing so, you begin to rewrite the way you relate to yourself and the world around you. Learning to listen to what was once silenced. That is where true healing begins.