.png)
Parenting
Parenting can feel incredibly overwhelming when you are also carrying the weight of your own childhood trauma. You might find that your child's emotions or behaviours bring up unexpected reactions in you. Moments like tantrums, clinginess, or even silence can act as emotional triggers, pulling you back into feelings that are rooted in your past. You may not even realise at first that what you are reacting to is not just what your child is doing, but something much deeper that was never resolved.
When you have experienced emotional neglect or abuse growing up, parenting can stir up old wounds that are still sitting just under the surface. You might find yourself flooded with emotion, or completely shut down. Maybe you feel ashamed when you snap or overwhelmed when your child needs you. This is not because you are failing. It is because parts of you are still trying to protect you in the only way they know how.
One of the things I often hear from parents I work with is the fear of repeating the same patterns they experienced. You may find yourself constantly questioning your choices. Do I set a boundary here or am I being too harsh? Do I give in or am I being too soft? This internal back and forth can leave you feeling like you are walking a tightrope. That pressure to get it right can become exhausting, especially when you are also trying to heal.
Unresolved trauma can also make it harder to regulate your emotions. The nervous system can become highly sensitive, meaning your reactions to everyday parenting moments can feel bigger than they should be. You might feel panicked when your child yells, or devastated when they ignore you. Afterwards, guilt and shame creep in. This cycle can feel endless, but it is not a reflection of who you are as a parent. It is a reflection of what you have lived through.
Attachment wounds from childhood can also affect the way you connect with your children. You may find it hard to trust your own parenting instincts, or you might swing between being overly protective and emotionally distant. Neither of these responses makes you a bad parent. They are simply signs that your nervous system has not felt safe in a long time.
The good news is that none of this is fixed. It can change. And it often starts with awareness. The fact that you are noticing, questioning, and wanting something different for your children already matters more than you realise. You are not alone. There are so many parents navigating this same path of healing while raising their children.
In my practice, I work with parents who are doing exactly this. They are choosing to break family cycles. They are learning about their nervous system, understanding emotional flashbacks, getting to know their inner child, and discovering how to regulate instead of react. This is not about parenting perfectly. It is about parenting consciously, with compassion for yourself as much as for your children.
Breaking the cycle of generational trauma is not easy. But every time you choose to pause instead of explode, to reflect instead of repeat, you are doing it. You are already doing the work. And that work is powerful.